Yeah, the issue with the targeted person calling it out is that it just allows the attacker to pull the classic DARVO tactic and play the victim. If you fight back, it allows them to paint you in a bad light and use you as an example against everyone like you.
That’s why it’s so important to have allies. It’s the ally’s job to get angry and confrontational when the victimized person can’t. When the victim needs to maintain decorum, the ally should be flipping tables and getting in the victimizer’s face about it. Because Keating is an old white guy; His identity can’t be used to further victimize trans people like McBride’s would have been.
This is a perfect example of how the situation should play out. Bully tries to throw insults. The insulted person remains calm, but their ally gets in the bully’s face and makes a scene. The bully quickly retreats when they realize that they may need to actually back up their words, and the original victim is able to say that they did nothing wrong.
This is well articulated. This dynamic is something I think of a lot, because as a cis woman, I often have a disproportionate level of social power in scenarios similar to this
Sure, they’re going to frame it in a way that gives them the victim, but we don’t have to accept it. Just laugh in their face, and misgender them right back. Nothing pisses off a trans bigot more than being called by the wrong gender.
Yeah, that’s often the result (and like you, I also find this to be worthwhile nonetheless), but it depends on the context. Sometimes it plays out like this though (image below) and the trolling potential is glorious
Keating is based as hell to call him out like that. Also lol @ the quick “Thank you madame speaker” response From McBride
Yeah, the issue with the targeted person calling it out is that it just allows the attacker to pull the classic DARVO tactic and play the victim. If you fight back, it allows them to paint you in a bad light and use you as an example against everyone like you.
That’s why it’s so important to have allies. It’s the ally’s job to get angry and confrontational when the victimized person can’t. When the victim needs to maintain decorum, the ally should be flipping tables and getting in the victimizer’s face about it. Because Keating is an old white guy; His identity can’t be used to further victimize trans people like McBride’s would have been.
This is a perfect example of how the situation should play out. Bully tries to throw insults. The insulted person remains calm, but their ally gets in the bully’s face and makes a scene. The bully quickly retreats when they realize that they may need to actually back up their words, and the original victim is able to say that they did nothing wrong.
Great post.
This is well articulated. This dynamic is something I think of a lot, because as a cis woman, I often have a disproportionate level of social power in scenarios similar to this
Do you? As a loud mouth myself typically they just make me out to be hysterical.
I still do it.
Sure, they’re going to frame it in a way that gives them the victim, but we don’t have to accept it. Just laugh in their face, and misgender them right back. Nothing pisses off a trans bigot more than being called by the wrong gender.
Yeah, that’s often the result (and like you, I also find this to be worthwhile nonetheless), but it depends on the context. Sometimes it plays out like this though (image below) and the trolling potential is glorious