you’re correct it’s not a unique experience to feel isolated from the rest of your peers. i feel like it’s an experience that might actually be increasing. i think social media ironically adds to this in the youth. many biracial people also experience something like this (ie, too white for the blacks, too black for the whites)

when i got here initially i moved to a place where nobody spoke my native language. so when i went to school, i would get put in a class all by myself with a nice lady who would hold flash cards with pictures on them. she would show me a card, it would say something like “cat” or “ball” and then she would repeat them over and over.

so the first year or so of primary school I was alone in a room because I didn’t speak english yet. really what eventually taught me english was cable TV

another element in the experience is being afraid of authority. the police were dangerous because at any moment if they caught us the family could get separated and we could get deported. one time my parents were cleaning an office late at night (they worked in cleaning when they first arrived in US) and they brought me with.

i didn’t understand what a fire alarm was so i pulled it. my parents, scared that the authorities would arrive and see a young child, took me and put me in the backseat of the car where people’s feet usually go and they put a blanket on me. they told me to be very quiet and not make a sound otherwise we could all be deported. so i hid in that car for an hour or so until the emergency services left

i share these things not to say i had a hard life or anything like that. I think I had a good upbringing. and I understand many Americans have had much worse experiences and also feel alienated as well.

But I share these things just because the story in the OP touched me because I was that 11 year old child once. It’s a life and a set of experiences a lot of Americans don’t really think about very much. Or at least historically has been more or less ignored.

Nowadays illegals have attention but unfortunately an overwhelmingly peaceful people become “rapists and murderers”. if you look up statistics, illegals are 2-4x less likely to commit crime than native born americans (if you get any charge at all, you can get deported… even if you get acquitted or the charges dropped!). so naturally they tend to be more careful breaking laws

Thank you. I feel like one these days. Especially after the naturalization ceremony. This is a country of immigrants and I’m part of it. I’m not ashamed of it anymore. I was when I was younger.

thank you, i appreciate the kind words. like i said, after processing and coming to terms with my upbringing, I see it as a positive these days. I got a unique outlook on life that most people don’t have the privilege to see.

I know things about this country Americans don’t have any clue about. By being sort of “in between” cultures, it lets you zoom out more easily. the world which was once small gets bigger.

It’s very depressing our world is still caught up in racial problems and not important problems like food and shelter.

I think people are scared. Americans are insecure about their future. Financially, emotionally, and societally.

I think we have to go through this painful phase but we will come out the other side with a new 21st century ideology. Once that fixes the contradictions of the 20th century one we still have.

exactly this. later on as an adult I realized I had my own path and that path was always going to be different from the average. got me thinking differently, opened my mind, etc. I think also knowing 3 languages helps

ideology gets impressed upon you at an early age already, especially here in the US.

I grew up illegal in the US. I was brought on a travel visa at the age of 5 and it wasn’t until my mid 20s that I became a citizen.

I vividly remember being in elementary school, around her age, in music class where we were learning the national anthem. The entire class would stand up and we should sing “I’m proud to be an American” and I remember silently crying as I stood up and sang the song.

I cried because I understood even at that age that I was not an American. I was part of everything while simultaneously always being detached from everything. Never fitting in, but pretending to. I think long-term it created a strange sense of detachment from society. This shit fucks you up and it’s heavy stuff for a child to process. It wasn’t until my adulthood that I really started to understand and internalize a positive narrative from my upbringing. An 11 year old child does not have the capacity to process this.

And I’m in my 30s now- I grew up illegal before social media and before this xenophobic outburst started circa 2016. I’d imagine it’s so much worse today.

I feel for this little girl. I feel for all the children in the country who’s only crime was existing. Obama, while famously being the deporter-in-chief (both Obama terms aw more deported than Trump’s first term), at least did offer DACA as an executive order for these children.

Really, I think you can tell the state of a society by how they treat the vulnerable. And the US is getting increasingly brutal and cruel. We’re in for a wild fascist ride, comrades. It’s only just begun.