Summary
Edward Coristine, a 19-year-old DOGE staffer recently promoted to a senior adviser role in the State Department, is reportedly the grandson of former KGB spy Valery Martynov.
Martynov was executed in the Soviet Union after being exposed as an FBI informant. Coristine, an alleged former cybercriminal, previously worked in the General Services Administration and now has potential access to sensitive diplomatic data.
Concerns have been raised over his background and apparent lack of a security check.
The situation fuels fears about foreign influence in U.S. government operations.
What kind of North Korean “sins of the father” shit is this?
Punish him for his actions of helping Musk take over the government in a coup, not that his grandad did spycraft every nation did in the Cold War.
I don’t care if he was the grandson of Jesus Christ and Buddha if he is a dipshit fascist. Fascists get called out for being fascists, not being related to one they might have never known.
National security isn’t fair because its more important than being fair and those who are for any reasons suspect are free to do any of the other hundreds of millions of jobs.
People are absolutely suspect because of their associations.
Exactly this. Top Secret clearance typically extends out to three degrees of separation. They’ll check on you, your friends/family, and their friends/family. Because when national security is concerned, they don’t want to risk a leak due to something like a cousin being a spy and going drinking after work with the employee.
100%. This arsehole deserves it.
Then would a check to everyone of an immigrant family be acceptable? Only people who’s family have never left the country are fit to protect it?
That feels like a violation of the 14th amendment, and ensures only redneck Republican hillbillies are the ones who ensure the safety of Americans.
And what is anyone doing about it?
I am seeing nothing but stories today about how trump, musk, and musk’s incel groupies are all tied to russia. And no one arresting them for being undocumented foreign agents.
So why bother reporting?
Who would arrest them? Dems and gop both have spent a century placing nearly all government power with scotus and the executive. The judicial isnt going to start drafting an army of armed officers of the court, so that just means the executive is going to continue to use all of the power both parties decided to give it.
You knew about this before? I didn’t. Report it.
Information is key.
America is in shock at the moment.
Big balls, hella small dick. Obviously
Even if this stupid asshole isn’t related to a KGB spy…WTAF:
recently promoted to a senior adviser role in the State Department
He’s a FUCKING TEENAGER. The guy cannot even legally drink. Cannot rent a car.
Elon’s just excited he found someone almost as rizzless as he is.
Shocker
Surely the fact that he’s 19 and a senior advisor in a state department is more damning than his lineage? And that Trump is very obviously friendly with Putin?
I think this familial connection is just a storm in a teacup which is sitting inside a much larger storm.
U know what I was doing at 19 years old? Nothing…nothing that counted as work. I won a bacon eating contest at college and played a ton of Mario Kart 64.
And that was very responsible of you. Wish more people would be participating in bacon eating contests over actively making the world a worse place. Please play video games and go have harmless fun. It’s better for society.
I see what youre saying, but clearly pigs were harmed for this fun.
Surely the fact that he’s 19 and a senior advisor in a state department is more damning than his lineage?
Well firstly, it is the media, they love to sensationalise so they came up with this attention grabbing headline.
And that Trump is very obviously friendly with Putin?
At first I thought both simply have the same ideological inclination, and the speculation that Putin has a kompromat on Trump is a meme. Now, I am increasingly becoming convinced on the latter. Not even Mussolini bent this low to Hitler.
Big Balls looks like a Connecticut boat shoe that came to life.
I know it’s a long shot, but I so want sanity restored and people like him rounded the fuck up and charged with breaking into government systems.
I want the legal system to wipe that fucking smug look right off their faces.
He looks like a half dressed toddler. Nice of him to give everyone an immediate visual cue for what they’re about to deal with, I guess.
I love it when the Nazis make themselves this punchable. Makes it easier for the sentient to take hold.
Maybe musk will start carrying him around.
Sporting that bussin’ broccoli top 🥦
Big Broccoli
That’s a wonderfully specific yet accurate description. Up you go.
“had to do it to 'em”
[slightly off topic]
I’m a native of the Northeastern United States and I’ve lived in numerous areas depicted in the media as being under the influence of ‘organized crime.’ To wit, Harlem, lower Manhattan, Hell’s Kitchen, and Staten Island.
Actual tough guys never have nicknames like ‘Big Balls.’ Never. The guys you fear have names like ‘the Chin,’ or ‘Bumpy,’ or ‘Legs.’ Al Capone’s buddies called him ‘Snorky.’
South Shore Shaolin?
Unveiling the "Wu Tang District’ street sign on Staten Island.
Yeah street names are always an endearing insult
I worked in construction and we used radios to communicate between crews. One kid insisted we call him ‘AntDawg.’ His name was Anthony.
It’s started with ‘Labradoodle.’ He put up with that for two days before bitching he didn’t wanna be Labradoodle. Everyone agreed it was too annoying over the radio, so we all agreed to shorten it. Doodle still hates his name.
I know a dude who introduced himself with “hey, my name’s Mike but call me Spike.” I think it was one of those “I just changed schools and want to reinvent myself as someone cooler” scenarios.
That was like 15 years ago. To this day, we still call him Spmike (pronounced “SPUH-mike”).
Pilot’s nicknames / unofficial callsigns often are as well, some kind of back handed reference to a fuck-up or troublesome character trait.
Off topic but it reminds me.
Astronaut Chris Hadfeild wrote a fun little thriller I quite enjoyed. The Apollo Murders. If the words “Soviet space pistol” stir your blood, you might want to check it out.
The exception to that is one I read about a few years back about a carrier based pilot. Callsign was S T A B which stood for shit twice and bailed
I like that one, haha.
Had to ‘stabilize’ his bowels, rofl.
Knew a pilot who’s nickname was über. Last name? Guay.
I remember watching a show about Canadian fighter pilots as a kid, one of them got the call sign “Blow” because his last name was Jobin.
There was a question on Reddit many moons ago asking fighter pilots what their callsigns were and how they got them. Not a single one was something to be proud of. The only one i remember off the top of my head was ‘Squishy’ and they got the name doing CAP over Iraq and had to use the bathroom in the cockpit…
Maybe that’s what this is. Like calling a fat guy slim, or a tall guy tiny. Maybe he’s used to many steroids and actually shrunk his balls
Look at his photo… there’s no steroid use there. He’s just got a pair of undescended testes, they’re missing.
That’s horrifying, wtf happened?
A 23-year-old dubbed the Russian “Popeye” had three pounds of dead muscle removed after his DIY bodybuilding injections went awry.
Kirill Tereshin used petroleum jelly to build fake muscle mass in his arms. Before he underwent critical surgery, his arms were approximately 24 inches in diameter.
https://globalnews.ca/news/6198555/russian-popeye-bodybuilder-injections/
WTF I assumed it was a Photoshop
Lol, I didn’t say he worked out, just that he took the steroids. Probably thinking they’d do all the work for him.
Though your theory seems to have some merit.
Allegedly Elon’s chest shape is what happens when you take HGH and don’t exercise. Not a doctor or a bodybuilder so I can’t say whether that’s true, but if the shoe fits ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m pretty sure it comes from his twitter handle or something like that. I think it’s more irrelevant/childish humor and less serious than it’s made out to be. Plenty of people refer to each other by their online handle, and I don’t think it’s intended as a “nickname” in the conventional way. I have a friend whose UN is basically “dragonslayer42069” and people call him dragon. I don’t think he chose that name so his nickname would be badass or anything. I think he thought it was funny when he made it and people just happen to refer to him as dragon. Plenty of memorable vulgar UNs on microblogs and forums are just there for some immature fun.
You’re losing sight of the fact that he and his boss weren’t elected, haven’t been vetted by Congress, and have zero experience.
His name is the least of his problems.
That’s why my comment was [off topic]
I’m not losing sight of anything. My comment wasn’t off topic because it was a response to your comment, not the post. I wasn’t supporting him or Elon/DOGE. I don’t know why you’re taking issue with my comment. I imagine we agree on more than we disagree on, I was just adding context. If you didn’t want to talk about it, then I’m not sure why you brought it up.
You can’t even make this shit up…
How the Hell does someone have a background as both a cybercriminal and a GSA employee at 19? I mean, sure, you can be a cybercriminal as an adolescent. But why is the GSA even hiring anybody that young at all?
Big balls attacks again
It is so sad how fitting this image is and will be for the foreseeable future.
I don’t get this angle.
So his grandparent was someone who on being exposed to the American way of life converted to the American side, helped America, and was killed by the Soviets for it. And they’re what, worried this previous generations pro-American views will somehow influence the kid today?
Go with them being a cybercriminal thing, not some bizzaro sins of the father nonsense.
I don’t care who someone’s family is, their actions are what defines them.
If someone was the son of Hitler and they did massive charity work, I don’t care. If someone was the child of Theodore Roosevelt and murdered someone, I don’t care.
It’s weird that being the grandson of some random KGB is what matters here more than the fact they are aiding a fascist take over. Like it’s in their DNA.
My grandfather on my mother’s side was a Nazi. We’re unsure of it was willing or “everyone had be in Nazi Germany.” I still fight for the rights of minorities everywhere. His actions don’t speak for mine. Nor my mother’s.
The angle is that the Overton window shifted so far right that the disagreement is now which foreigners (and secret, domestic foreigners) are to blame for the country’s decline.
It’s the kind of thing you’d have to disclose before getting a security clearance. And the FBI would be the ones to decide if it’s okay. Not Elon.
If it was your parent, definitely. They don’t ask about grandparents. I don’t know there’s a place on the SF-86 for you to insert this info.
For real, what are the chances he even met his Grandpa.
Zero.
This kid is 19 and the USSR collapsed 34 years ago.
My thoughts exactly. 🙄 This is ridiculous non-news.
“Big Balls” huh. This is 100% the same situation as calling the dude that can bench a school bus “Tiny”.
Looking at a photo, this dude definitely has a pair of undescended testicles. They’re missing for sure.
He’s like a dog, but his balls never dropped.
Department Of Greddy Elon Asshole Spy…DOGEAS
